Eamon Nacarrow, the author of a ‘’side-splitting” new book is offering a 100% money-back guarantee – to readers who don’t laugh. He has promised to refund anyone who fails to see the funny side of his autobiography, ‘Holywood Star: the life and time of a rock and roll misadventurer’.

Those who keep a straight face and don’t chuckle ”at least once” will receive a cheque for the book’s £9.99 cover price. He will also send ”miserable critics” a handwritten letter as an apology.

According to experts, the offer is a publishing first and could prompt hundreds of other authors to follow suit.
But despite the guarantee, Mr Nancarrow insists only ”one-in-a-million” readers will ask for their money back.

The book, which went on sale this week, tells the story of his failed attempts to make it as a rock star during the 80s. It has already attracted a string of rave reviews since its official release.

Amazing Radio, which is serialising the book on air from January, described it as ”brilliant” and ”hilarious”.

The station’s founder, Paul Campbell, said: ”We try to reflect the realities of life for musicians, and help them overcome some of the difficulties of writing, recording and gigging.

”Eamon’s taken that simple idea and made it hilarious. We’re delighted to be able to broadcast extracts from his brilliant book on Amazing Radio. We’re certain it will raise lots of rueful smiles from listening musos, as well as tons of laughs.”

Billed as a ”crazy rock n’ roll tour of calamity”, Holywood Star tells of the author’s futile attempts to secure a record deal. Having grown up on a rough council estate in Holywood, a village near Belfast, Northern Ireland, he dreams of performing with his band on the world’s biggest stages.

But his grand aspirations fall flat time after time, and his plan to reach the ‘’sleazy heights” of super-stardom repeatedly fail. Mr Nancarrow, who lives in Belfast, penned Holywood Star – his first book – in less than 24 months.

Following a number of ‘’superb” reviews, he is now offering a money-back guarantee to those who fail to find the memoirs funny. The father-of-two will contact and question critics individually in a bid to prevent the offer being exploited.

Refunds will only be made to those he is convinced are telling the truth.

Mr Nancarrow, 44, who still performs with his band Strictly No Ballroom, said: ”The offer might sound a little crazy, but I think it’s fair. ”The book is billed as a ’side-splitting’ autobiography, so if people don’t find it funny then I’ve not done what I set out to do. As a result, I’ll contact and question anyone who claims not to have laughed at least once and, if they can prove that they’ve read the book from cover to cover without doing so, I’ll return their money.”

Miles Bailey has run The Choir Press, an independent publishers based in Gloucester, since 1982. He said the offer could be the first of its kind in the publishing world.  ”This is the first time that I’ve heard about an author offering a money-back guarantee,” he said.

”Depending on its success, the offer has the potential of being copied by other authors in a number of genres.” But he added: ”I can’t imagine that the offer will be taken up by many people, though. I’ve read the book and haven’t laughed so much in years.”

Holywood Star is available in paperback priced £9.99 (Showcase UK) from Amazon, WH Smith and www.showcaseuk.tv

SHOWCASE UK is delighted to announce that they have signed EAMON NANCARROW to a three book deal with the first instalment of his memoires ‘HOLYWOOD STAR‘ to be published on 18th November 2009

Eamon Nancarrow grew up in Holywood, County Down with a passion for rock and roll. He dreamt of striding across the world’s stages, singing his heart out as a rock God and lapping up all the trimmings that success would naturally deliver. As you are well aware he didn’t make it but by the end of his autobiography ‘Holywood Star’ you’ll wish he had.

With a keen eye for observational humour and a knack of getting it down on paper, Eamon Nancarrow will have you convulsing with laughter as he takes you through almost every calamity that befell him, every moment that fate turned against him and every support band that tried to upstage him…

As the final note of the crescendo was being held by his bandmates Thunderchild’s guitarist proceeded to try and smash his instrument up. Unfortunately the flexibility of the floorboards meant that instead of the Gibson SG shattering into a million pieces it just bounced around the stage like a basketball.

His embarrassment was quite palpable. In an attempt save face, he put even more effort into his swings, which only caused the six-string to bounce higher and higher, smashing some of the lights on the lip of the stage and sending shards of red-hot coloured glass into the crowd. Shoulders slumped, drenched in sweat and sporting a reddner like a flasher’s giblets in July, he was just about to give up when he spotted the hatchet that Rollo had used to secure the now demolished lighting board.

A heavily perspiring guitarist ran off stage and returned brandishing the axe above his head like a mad Comanche on the hunt for a fresh paleface scalp. He grabbed the guitar by the neck, knelt down and took a swing. The hatchet made contact, forcing the SG into the trampoline-like stage. The elasticity of the floorboards caused the poor instrument to catapult past the rabbit-in-the-headlights eyes of its ungrateful owner. I couldn’t help but think that for a guitar player with two fingers of his hand already missing this was quite frankly a ludicrously risky thing to do.

And it doesn’t stop there. Eamon’s life is full of moments that not only give you a great insight into how funny trying to make can be, he also draws you into his world and the characters around him. Like the moment he decided to get his first perm…

The girl on the other end of the phone felt the need to remind me that it was a woman’s hairdressers that I was calling, not a barbers. Holywood still hadn’t really taken to the idea of male grooming as such. Men only went to the barbers when absolutely necessary or in Specky Beard MaCaffery’s case when his nasal and ear hairs became the talking point of the kids in the street. The thought of a male asking for a cut and blow dry nearly had the local priest visiting the family home with a little pamphlet about the birds and the bees and the benefits of the Rhythm Method.

Eamon’s failure is his success and even though fame alluded him, once you’ve finished ‘Holywood Star’ you’ll feel like a life long fan.

ABOUT THE BOOK
‘Holywood Star’ is divided up using Eamon’s bands as the chapters: Guilt Edge, No Hot Ashes, Nellie Dean, Social Idiot, Strictly No Ballroom. The book is a paperback and 356 pages long. It’s cover price is £9.99 although Amazon currently have it discounted to £7.99. It is a print-on-demand book that was edited and produced by Miles Bailey and his team at The Choir Press.

SHOWCASE UK was created by broadcaster and journalist Xan Phillips as a vehicle to promote unsigned musicians. Based in Southampton it’s first release was the CD ‘Showcase Sett’ a 16 track compilation album of acts from the south coast. However back in 1987, Xan was an aspiring bass player who accidentally joined Eamon Nancarrow’s band ‘Nellie Dean’. Since then they’ve remained close friends and in July 2007 Eamon began sending a stream stories about his days as a musician and growing up in Holywood. From the beginning it was obvious that Eamon had a knack for comic writing and observational humour. The idea for putting these gems into a book followed soon after which is why ‘Showcase UK’ is proud to have ‘Holywood Star’ as it’s first publication.

EAMON NANCARROW was born at an early age, but grew up fast, so fast; in fact, that he outgrew his hair. He always considered himself to be a bit of a rock star with a fine singing voice, however it wasn’t until the GP presented an ill-fitting truss that he developed his astonishing vocal range. Sounding like a cross between Donald Duck and Tiny Tim made him an attractive catch for bands desperately seeking a singer.

From the age of fifteen he has assaulted the eardrums of the general public without a concern for the damage he was causing. He has used music to achieve his goal of living in abject poverty and boy was he good at it. His life can be mapped out in chapters of the bands he has been in and funny enough that’s just what his book has done. After failing miserably in the music business he decided that a new career was necessary, unfortunately for the sanity of his poor family this didn’t happen until he was thirty.

Eamon resides in Belfast with his partner Donna and his two kids Teelin and Tara. He still screams rock and roll at the weekends but makes a living as a specialist Infection Control Nurse (God help us all).

Holywood Star: The Life and Times of a Rock and Roll Misadventurer
ISBN-10: 0956390005
ISBN-13: 978-0956390004

The first pictures of the ‘miracle star’ have been published on Share International’s web site and there have also been some videos surfacing in various forums around the internet.

This picture was originally printed by Norwegian newspaper Harstad Tidende and the others from places like Miami. Costa Rica and Pakistan.

The pictures show a bright object in the sky which some say “looks as big as a tennis ball in comparison with adjacent stars.” You can seen the full set here

The background to this story is fascinating as well as deep but if you are new to this story then here is a brief summary:

Share International’s editor Benjamin Creme says we are about to see the Emergence of Maitreya, a World Teacher, who can guide us to a much better future than the one we are on course for.

Although Creme has been preparing the way for the past thirty years there hasn’t been a right moment for Maitreya to appear.

However thanks to the global financial crisis, and its serious implications to everyone on the planet, now is the time.

And to mark the start of Maitreya’s Emergence it was announced by Share International at the end of 2008 that:

“In the very near future a large, bright star will appear in the sky visible to all throughout the world – night and day.”

Well they couldn’t have picked a better or worse time.

The good news is that 2009 is the Year of Astronomy, marking the 400th anniversary of Galileo’s first peak through a telescope, so no doubt many eyes will be looking up at the celestial wonders above us.

However the bad news is that Venus is resplendent at the moment and, to be honest, it has fooled me on a number of occasions. (I have found the Neave Planetarium invaluable if I am unsure as to what star or planet is putting on a display).

This planet has also sparked wild debate on the Internet and where you find someone discussing a strange star in the sky you’ll also find someone pointing to Venus.
When I last looked the thread “STRANGE VERY BRIGHT STAR LIKE THING” at www.godlikeproductions.com it had run to almost 70 pages of discussion, insult and argument.

However in that forum this video was posted (you’ll find more here)

The next event to look out for is Maitreya’s first interview which will be on American television. In the Jan/Feb edition of Share international, Benjamin Creme’s Master writes:

“On that open, public occasion, still unannounced as Maitreya, the World Teacher will present His views on the economic and financial chaos which now grips the world. He will explain its origins and final outcome, and present, to some extent, His recipe for amelioration of the present heavy burden on the poor of the world. Thus He will prepare the way for a more detailed and specific announcement of His ideas.

How will viewers respond? They will not know His background or status. Will they listen to and consider His words? It is too soon to know exactly but the following may be said: Never before will they have seen or heard Maitreya speak. Nor, while listening, will they have experienced His unique energy, heart to heart. Also, this is a unique time in history with whole nations stunned and apprehensive for the future. Therefore it can be assumed that many who hear His words will be open and eager to hear more.”

Exciting times! You can read more here:
http://www.shareintl.org/magazine/old_issues/2009/2009-01.htm