It wasn’t planned and Mark the landlord was quite open about his inspiration: “I had a space in the diary and wanted to see what happened.”

This chance to sell CDs and other music related ephemera easily tempted me to be a Del Boy for the night.

Going under the banner of Showcase UK (Independent Traders) I set my stall out with Eamon Nancarrow’s autobiography Holywood Star, Tom Ashford’s début soundtrack ‘Point to Point‘ and the south coast compilation Showcase Sett.

Also included in this plethora of musical taste and style were the début albums from Coast and LST.

Other tables were festooned with quality guitars, amps and pedals that were quite tempting. There was also Dave (not Rodney), who lives opposite the venue and who normally sells his vinyl online. He thought it would be different to have a go in the real world. Luvely jubbly!

Hamish, the bass player from Coast, came down to fill me in on their current good news which involves supporting Bryan Adams and Bon Jovi in Germany. And I met Southampton’s punk poet Sean McGowan, who is building a great vibe on YouTube. More about them in coming weeks.

Even though first night nerves kept buyers away, the idea is promising and you never know, this time next month, we’ll all be millionaires.

First published by the Southern Daily Echo 29th April 2011

We were named after a pub, that was named after a famous drinking song, and that should be a clue as to how seriously we took ourselves.

But we were good live and, at our home venue, the crowd broke the bar record every time we played.

At one point were even bold enough to get about 2000 12” EPs pressed (pictured).

It might not sound much but try loading and unloading that much vinyl into a transit van.

We sold around 1600 through gigging but it was just at the time when CDs players were becoming a household item so no doubt most were thrown away.

In fact I once had the ignominy of a rival band’s roadie joyfully reporting that he’d seen our EP in a second hand shop for 10p.

Well, this week the turntables were turned after I logged into our Tunecore account: in the past four months we’ve made $22 through digital downloads – here’s the widget…

by Eamon Nancarrow

Admittedly its on the back of the singer’s autobiography (Holywood Star by Eamon Nancarrow) but our music is now available around the world and, thanks to this service, we’re selling again.

Tunecore charge a small fee for uploading each song, and there is yearly a charge for storage, but you don’t sign your songs away and we’ve made our money back.

It’s an ideal way of getting your songs downloaded but you still have to let people know you exist. Find out more at www.tunecore.com

This article was published in the Daily Echo on Friday 18th June 2010

Belfast born Eamon Nancarrow didn’t expect his autobiography ‘Holywood Star to cause such ructions seeing as the climax of his rock career was a disastrous tour of Scotland during a bleak winter.

But the singer’s tales of rock and roll misadventure have sent beds rocking with uncontrollable laughter leaving many partners irritated and awake.

‘It would start with Michael’s shoulders shaking,’ said bank manager Angela O’Sullivan (49) of her husband’s reaction to certain passages, “and then turn into a belly laugh.”

As a resident of Holywood, County Down, her irritation was needing to know what, and more importantly who, in Eamon’s adventure was making Michael laugh so much.

Funny / not funny

This reaction has spread to the mainland with Rhian French (37), a copy writer from Andover, Hampshire, suffering the same fate. Although her wound was self inflicted as she bought the book as a Christmas present for her husband Alan (right), another struggling musician.

“I had to ask him to stop making so much noise. Every night he was having a bit of a snort and if it wasn’t an outright guffaw there would be a lot of giggling and more snorting. It’s a bit worrying when someone is having so much fun on their own in the same bed.”

Her solution was simple: “He had to read it downstairs before he came up to sleep.”

Eamon’s Irish eyes might be smiling at the thought of bringing laughter into some people’s lives but the negative aspect is beginning to concern him:

“It is never great to cause friction in the boudoir, especially when there are nylon sheets involved, and it was never my intention to set marital sparks flying. The book was only supposed to make people laugh and that seems to be the crux of the problem.”

If this is another calamity to befall Eamon Nancarrow at least he’s used to it. From the horrors of his first perm in the early 80’s to the moment a misplaced stage pyrotechnic almost curtailed his parenting capabilities, he has still been able to see the funny side of life.

However, in some bedrooms around the country, there is only one side of the bed laughing.

Holywood Star is available in paperback priced £9.99 (Showcase UK) from Amazon, WH Smith and www.showcaseuk.tv

Those who keep a straight face and don’t chuckle ”at least once” will receive a cheque for the book’s £9.99 cover price. He will also send ”miserable critics” a handwritten letter as an apology.

According to experts, the offer is a publishing first and could prompt hundreds of other authors to follow suit.
But despite the guarantee, Mr Nancarrow insists only ”one-in-a-million” readers will ask for their money back.

The book, which went on sale this week, tells the story of his failed attempts to make it as a rock star during the 80s. It has already attracted a string of rave reviews since its official release.

Eamon Nancarrow in the Maypole Bar (Ned's), Holywood

The station’s founder, Paul Campbell, said: ”We try to reflect the realities of life for musicians, and help them overcome some of the difficulties of writing, recording and gigging.

”Eamon’s taken that simple idea and made it hilarious. We’re delighted to be able to broadcast extracts from his brilliant book on Amazing Radio. We’re certain it will raise lots of rueful smiles from listening musos, as well as tons of laughs.”

Billed as a ”crazy rock n’ roll tour of calamity”, Holywood Star tells of the author’s futile attempts to secure a record deal. Having grown up on a rough council estate in Holywood, a village near Belfast, Northern Ireland, he dreams of performing with his band on the world’s biggest stages.

But his grand aspirations fall flat time after time, and his plan to reach the ‘’sleazy heights” of super-stardom repeatedly fail. Mr Nancarrow, who lives in Belfast, penned Holywood Star – his first book – in less than 24 months.

Following a number of ‘’superb” reviews, he is now offering a money-back guarantee to those who fail to find the memoirs funny. The father-of-two will contact and question critics individually in a bid to prevent the offer being exploited.

Refunds will only be made to those he is convinced are telling the truth.

No Joke

Mr Nancarrow, 44, who still performs with his band Strictly No Ballroom, said: ”The offer might sound a little crazy, but I think it’s fair. ”The book is billed as a ’side-splitting’ autobiography, so if people don’t find it funny then I’ve not done what I set out to do. As a result, I’ll contact and question anyone who claims not to have laughed at least once and, if they can prove that they’ve read the book from cover to cover without doing so, I’ll return their money.”

Miles Bailey has run The Choir Press, an independent publishers based in Gloucester, since 1982. He said the offer could be the first of its kind in the publishing world.  ”This is the first time that I’ve heard about an author offering a money-back guarantee,” he said.

”Depending on its success, the offer has the potential of being copied by other authors in a number of genres.” But he added: ”I can’t imagine that the offer will be taken up by many people, though. I’ve read the book and haven’t laughed so much in years.”

Holywood Star is available in paperback priced £9.99 (Showcase UK) from Amazon, WH Smith and www.showcaseuk.tv

Eamon Nancarrow grew up in Holywood, County Down with a passion for rock and roll. He dreamt of striding across the world’s stages, singing his heart out as a rock God and lapping up all the trimmings that success would naturally deliver. As you are well aware he didn’t make it but by the end of his autobiography ‘Holywood Star’ you’ll wish he had.

With a keen eye for observational humour and a knack of getting it down on paper, Eamon Nancarrow will have you convulsing with laughter as he takes you through almost every calamity that befell him, every moment that fate turned against him and every support band that tried to upstage him…

As the final note of the crescendo was being held by his bandmates Thunderchild’s guitarist proceeded to try and smash his instrument up. Unfortunately the flexibility of the floorboards meant that instead of the Gibson SG shattering into a million pieces it just bounced around the stage like a basketball.

His embarrassment was quite palpable. In an attempt save face, he put even more effort into his swings, which only caused the six-string to bounce higher and higher, smashing some of the lights on the lip of the stage and sending shards of red-hot coloured glass into the crowd. Shoulders slumped, drenched in sweat and sporting a reddner like a flasher’s giblets in July, he was just about to give up when he spotted the hatchet that Rollo had used to secure the now demolished lighting board.

A heavily perspiring guitarist ran off stage and returned brandishing the axe above his head like a mad Comanche on the hunt for a fresh paleface scalp. He grabbed the guitar by the neck, knelt down and took a swing. The hatchet made contact, forcing the SG into the trampoline-like stage. The elasticity of the floorboards caused the poor instrument to catapult past the rabbit-in-the-headlights eyes of its ungrateful owner. I couldn’t help but think that for a guitar player with two fingers of his hand already missing this was quite frankly a ludicrously risky thing to do.

And it doesn’t stop there. Eamon’s life is full of moments that not only give you a great insight into how funny trying to make can be, he also draws you into his world and the characters around him. Like the moment he decided to get his first perm…

The girl on the other end of the phone felt the need to remind me that it was a woman’s hairdressers that I was calling, not a barbers. Holywood still hadn’t really taken to the idea of male grooming as such. Men only went to the barbers when absolutely necessary or in Specky Beard MaCaffery’s case when his nasal and ear hairs became the talking point of the kids in the street. The thought of a male asking for a cut and blow dry nearly had the local priest visiting the family home with a little pamphlet about the birds and the bees and the benefits of the Rhythm Method.

Eamon’s failure is his success and even though fame alluded him, once you’ve finished ‘Holywood Star’ you’ll feel like a life long fan.

ABOUT THE BOOK
‘Holywood Star’ is divided up using Eamon’s bands as the chapters: Guilt Edge, No Hot Ashes, Nellie Dean, Social Idiot, Strictly No Ballroom. The book is a paperback and 356 pages long. It’s cover price is £9.99 although Amazon currently have it discounted to £7.99. It is a print-on-demand book that was edited and produced by Miles Bailey and his team at The Choir Press.

SHOWCASE UK was created by broadcaster and journalist Xan Phillips as a vehicle to promote unsigned musicians. Based in Southampton it’s first release was the CD ‘Showcase Sett’ a 16 track compilation album of acts from the south coast. However back in 1987, Xan was an aspiring bass player who accidentally joined Eamon Nancarrow’s band ‘Nellie Dean’. Since then they’ve remained close friends and in July 2007 Eamon began sending a stream stories about his days as a musician and growing up in Holywood. From the beginning it was obvious that Eamon had a knack for comic writing and observational humour. The idea for putting these gems into a book followed soon after which is why ‘Showcase UK’ is proud to have ‘Holywood Star’ as it’s first publication.

Eamon Nancarrow in the Maypole Bar (Ned's), Holywood

EAMON NANCARROW was born at an early age, but grew up fast, so fast; in fact, that he outgrew his hair. He always considered himself to be a bit of a rock star with a fine singing voice, however it wasn’t until the GP presented an ill-fitting truss that he developed his astonishing vocal range. Sounding like a cross between Donald Duck and Tiny Tim made him an attractive catch for bands desperately seeking a singer.

From the age of fifteen he has assaulted the eardrums of the general public without a concern for the damage he was causing. He has used music to achieve his goal of living in abject poverty and boy was he good at it. His life can be mapped out in chapters of the bands he has been in and funny enough that’s just what his book has done. After failing miserably in the music business he decided that a new career was necessary, unfortunately for the sanity of his poor family this didn’t happen until he was thirty.

Eamon resides in Belfast with his partner Donna and his two kids Teelin and Tara. He still screams rock and roll at the weekends but makes a living as a specialist Infection Control Nurse (God help us all).

Holywood Star: The Life and Times of a Rock and Roll Misadventurer
ISBN-10: 0956390005
ISBN-13: 978-0956390004